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Vivian had been a friend of my mom for years and we always spent time in and around the pool naked at both of our homes. After a short swim in the pool we dried off and went back into the house to get dressed. Vivian thanked me for giving up my weekend to help her and gave me a hug. I'm still not sure what or how things happened after this but during this hug things suddenly changed between us. She held me tighter and I put my arms around her in response. Vivian then kissed me passionately and I responded accordingly. She led me up to her bedroom and we both got on the bed, still hugging and kissing each other like we'd been lovers for years. I lay on my back and Vivian moved a hand to one of my breasts, gently massaging it and pinching the nipple. She then moved onto her back, pulling me on top of her, both of her hands squeezing my "beautiful young ass." She began moving me back and forth so our cunts rubbed against each other. I had never felt such pleasure, thinking to myself. Damning me for a liar. And I let go. All the fears, all the realities, all the pain, the hurt, life. Wrapping myself around him, allowing myself to be with him. Simply, purely, completely with him. Finally. And in letting go, I found it. Everything I had feared and longed for. Sought and hid from. Right here in this man, this poet, the touch and breath that I had come to depend on. Twining my arms around his neck, speaking without words, hoping he knew. Daring to hope he could read me as well as I had come to know him. And I saw his pain, his fears, my heart breaking. God, to make it all right. To be able to show this beautiful man nothing but pure love. Could I be so lucky? Dare I allow myself hope? While the world comes crashing down around me, I admit it. If to no one but myself, I admit it. I hear my mind whispering over and over, ‘I love you’. Did I say it aloud? Should I? Can I? I close my eyes, just let them drift shut as I lay my head on his chest. No, I dare not, should not..
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